All women deserve to feel sexy!
All people deserve to feel sexy!
What an injustice to feel anything less when you desire to embody the sensual being
you are inside.
Repressing these natural feelings can manifest into negativity and sometimes toxic
habits that can lead to poor self-esteem, shame or guilt surrounding ideas of sex, and
disconnect in private or romantic relationships.
For anyone out there who wants to invite more sensuality into their lives take it from my
wonderful pole student Serena who has used pole as a tool to get in touch with her
Serena’s first exposure to pole was through side glances in the background of movies.
She knew that kind of dancing existed but she never gave it much thought and never
knew it existed outside of that realm. Throughout the years she drove by Peacock Pole
Art and she finally made the connection that she can actually have access to give pole a
try in a private dance studio setting.
A creative wellness class she was taking encouraged her to try different modalities of
artistic style and so she came and took a class.
Serena described growing up in a family that had a lot of shame around sex and the
expression of sexuality, especially sex before marriage. “I always knew inside my heart I
was a sexual being and I enjoyed that part of myself and expressing that part of myself
but there was always that familial you shouldn’t do that, don’t tell anybody, you're not
allowed to be sexy, shameful mindset.”
In 2020 Serena found herself in a state of depression, started getting sick of feeling
repressed in this way and wanted to do something different. She didn't know much
about pole, but signed up anyway. After her first class there were still ideas of shame
and it felt like a taboo but she absolutely fell in love with it.
Over time watching everyone else, imagining where she could go with her journey, and
doing some new tricks she has never done before, she described it feeling like “there
was such a power to it, so freeing, this is how I can express some of my inner goddess,
that inner sexuality”. “Growing up in a shameful world it is hard to completely get over it,
but it was so much diminished when I started doing pole, I was like, fuck shame,
whatever, I’m going to do me, do what feels right for my body and soul.”
Serena states, had she not poled she may have been stuck in a past relationship and
may have not discovered her soul mate/ husband who is so supportive and encouraging
in her sexual, sensual pole journey.
Serena now, a behavioral health counselor and an aspiring sex therapist. She one day
hopes to help individuals with sex issues, sexual trauma, and couples having a hard
time connecting on a sexual level. Other sensual expressive activities that pair well with
pole according to Serena are erotic poetry and literature, singing, dancing; anything can
drum up sensuality with some intention.
We asked Serena for any advice for people that want to tap into more sensuality in their
life through pole or other means?
From her own experience, she states, “You have to put shame aside to be able to
explore, be adventurous, outside of your comfort zone or cultural comfort zone – be a
little brave, in some aspects and just go to the first class or activity to engage in sensual
activities with an open mind – it can be so freeing and beautiful. Release fear, release
doubt, release shame.”
If you are struggling with low self-esteem and low confidence, take it from Serena and
try a pole class. You will be amazed at the positive things you will allow into your life
when you give yourself permission to be open to learning and trying new things. We all
deserve to embody the powerful, sexy queens and kings we are.
Have you ever felt like you need to get your groove back? Perhaps invite more sensuality into your life? Pole may be exactly what you need in life.
-Jaqueline R. Santos
Owner, Peacock Pole Art & Body Weight Fitness